Have you wondered why some people are happy most of the time but others are unhappy? It is true that genetic factors contribute to people’s happiness. It is also true that some events are very difficult to experience with a steady smile on our faces. Don’t these things sound unfair? Perhaps yes, but before you shut the door and crawl into your bed refusing to experience your life to the fullest, let’s reflect for a minute.
Whether genetic or not, people who are happy are so because “they make lemonade when life hands them lemons.” They have the ability to make the best of the things that come their way even if those things are difficult to deal with. How do they do that? Well, the complete guidelines to happiness are yet to be written by the experts, but if they ever do it, the word adaptation will certainly be there.
One of the definitions for adaptation in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “… a composition rewritten into a new form.” Thus, to adapt, one has to rewrite him- or herself in a world that is forever evolving. How does one go about doing it? Rewriting requires flexibility in perception. People with rigid ideas of what their happiness should look like are more likely not to be experiencing it. Certainly it is nice when life goes according to our expectations, but it is very unlikely that it will be always like that. Those who are able to plan again and to dream again in the light of the new reality will be able to thrive in comparison to those who are “stuck” in the old ways of thinking.
Be aware that adaptation does not mean losing the essence of who one is; it simply means the ability to find oneself functionally in spite of the circumstances. Rigid ways of thinking are debilitating and unnatural in human development. Counseling can be helpful because the therapist in conjunction with the client can detect those rigid ways of thinking that are robbing the client’s happiness. Then, new ways of thinking can be developed and even tested in the current reality in which one lives, increasing adaptability, functionality, and contentment.
